REVELATION of a new REVOLUTION: A Testimony

_{Taken from my Journal Entry: REVELATION of a New REVOLUTION: A Testimony -- Just thought I would share it with you all.}

I am a very fickle, easily frightened person -- anxious, prone to morbidly severe panic attacks; a nervous, and quite often fearful (over the most trivial things usually) individual.  That's not the Spirit of Christ, Amen?  So, God's been working on me.  It seemed to all happen in one night...

After playin' around on my guitar I layed back on my bed and eventually fell asleep (9:30-10:00-ish).  I woke up thinking I was only asleep for half an hour or so...got up and thought I'd start my nightly devotional and such.  Got out my prayer book (I like to write my prayers alot) and started to write about some things -- petitioning as usual

I'll go ahead and share part of what I was praying about...
I feel God is calling me to the music ministry and I was just praying about that and where I'd hope to go with it and such.  I asked that one day I would be able to lead worship for The Well (a once-a-month session for women in ministry).  Then I started telling God what I was afraid of -- quite a common occurrence.  Things like, being afraid to pray inbetween songs at church (what? afraid of praying? I know, I told you they were trivial).  Worried that for some reason people will think I'm doing it for attention and stuff.  I know you must think I sound rediculous, it is rediculous!  I'll admit it.  However goofy it sounds, it's quite a common issue with me in my walk with God.

Anyways...I ended up praying until about 3:45 a.m. -- I have reason to believe that God woke me up and told me to get to praying (I didn't look at the clock until afterwards).  God even prevented me from looking at the time because if I had I probably would've went straight to bed instead of stay up and pray.  God is so wonderful, yes?

THE REVELATION
--_{the act of revealing or disclosing; disclosure.
--something revealed or disclosed, especially a striking disclosure, as of something not before realized.}
*hit like a ton of bricks* I don't need to be scared!  My Jesus is the GOD of this Universe and I'm cowering in the corner over a few measly things?!?!  No.  No more.
Finally I start ranting on about how I don't want to be scared anymore -- intercession of the Holy Spirit I'm sure.  I just started exploding!

THE REVOLUTION
--_{an overthrow or repudiation and the thorough replacement of an established government or political system by the people governed.
--a sudden, complete or marked change in something}
I'm so tired of being scared!  I'm tired of backing off and hiding in the corner!  It's time to stand on the front lines!  I'm sick of biting my tongue, I'm sick of holding my peace, I need to be shouting about the Lord!  I'm tired of hiding my lamp beneath the basket!  I'm tired of beating around the bush!  I'm done with fear!  I'm done with it dictating my life, my voice, my every move!!! In being silent, I'm muffling the life-giving Spirit within me!  
Jesus is my deliverer!  He has delivered me from my fears -- because of Him there is NO reason to fear anymore!  I mean, seriously?  How many times does God say "Fear thou not, for I AM with thee!"
He's delivered me from my fears; freed my voice from the chains of anxiety!  I want to boast in Him, boast in His name, boast in His glory, boast in His grace!  I'm ready to explode in all the colors of Jesus!
I want to proclaim His name from within the four walls of my little church to the four corners of the earth!  There's no more holding back or holding in!
Then a song from...yep...David Crowder*Band came on my iPod and I just started sobbing.
At the last part of the song he sings...
It's Your love that we adore
It's like a sea without a shore
Don't be afraid, don't be afraid
Just set your sail
And risk the ocean, there's only grace
Let's risk the ocean, there's only grace!
Oh man, I lost it.  What perfect words for the moment!  God's so amazing.  As if the moment wasn't intense enough and you've got snot running out of your nose He throws on a song and you just lose it.  
I will not fear the ocean;
The towering waves or the dark sky,
The depth beneath or the vastness thereof
Because there's only grace!


Anyways, I'm sharing this with you not for any boastful reasons -- it's just because...I'm done being silent!
So, if you're anything like me -- fearful, easily knocked off course, scared (of anything and everything) then hopefully this helps you.

I'm never really in the book of Acts (so I don't know my way around it) and God lead me there to show me this verse where the Lord Jesus is speaking to Paul in a night vision.
Be not afraid, but speak, and hold not thy peace: for I am with thee...
Acts 18:9,10
Do Not Be Silent is what He's saying.  Hold not thy peace but shout My name, He says; sing it out, go child and glorify Me!  How can we be silent when our GOD is the GOD of the Universe?
I pray this speaks to You.  He's coming again; this is not the time for silence and standing by.  It's the time for shouting!